You don’t deserve to drive nice cars. Because you people hold attributes that resemble those of a primitive race, you deserve to drive ugly, rattling metal boxes. Besides, your driving behavior makes it look as if you’re just begging on your knees to have another car crash full on into you. Maybe you think it makes you look badass? Let me break it to you, honey. It actually makes you look like you’re a mentally ill person that the doctor accidentally released from the asylum. Unless that equates to awesomeness in your poor, deranged world, I don’t think that’s the look you’re aiming for. You may be laughing now when you’re cutting people off left and right, almost running the old lady in the corner over, and going 50 in a 35 zone with that loud, obnoxious exhaust of yours that you’ve added on to your Honda, but you’ll be the brunt of the jokes when you’re rewarded with a ticket, slapped with the shame of hitting a body, or landed in the hospital when your car gets totaled. But hey, maybe it’s just me who’s not turned on by your reckless and supercilious driving. Who knows, right? It’s a crazy world, anyhow.
What was that? Oh, yes, I am aware that I already tweeted about this. But I figure you love and crave audience attention, so I’m dedicating a tumblr text post to you too.
Have a great day!